They've gone as far north as Alaska, treating whole tribes of Inuit to never-before-tasted fast food fare. They've traveled to the far flung villages of Transylvania (yes...it's a real place) and fed the hungry masses meat patties with grill marks and sesame seed buns.
Here's the thing. I wouldn't ask a 'Car Virgin' to help me choose between a Taurus or an Accord. I wouldn't ask a 'Movie Virgin' to decide whether I should see Deep Impact or Armageddon. And I certainly wouldn't ask a 'Virgin Virgin' to offer an opinion on positions (wink wink, nudge nudge).
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The notion that people who have never in their life eaten a burger would know better than me which sandwich tastes better is as ridiculous as this very sentence. The audacity of Burger King to circumvent all expert opinions and subject us to these know-nothing fast-foodies is infuriating. It shows a disregard and disrespect towards you and me. After all, we are the folks who have been eating burgers for most of our lives and let me tell you, we know a good burger when we taste it.
Of course, the really frustrating part is that...yes, the Whopper is a superior burger! I mean, really. The Big Mac is just two regular patties separated by a useless piece of bread. The Whopper is just...more delicious. I had one the other day, it still holds up!
So, dear readers. Take not this rant to be a call to action. Rather, one man's admonition of an unfortunate marketing scheme.
'Burger Virgins' indeed. That's like asking a blind guy if this outfit makes me look fat.
